


Our Names Are Labels

by Tumblinginmyfeels



Series: Labels [1]
Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Gen, I was inspired by another fic and I wanted to explore angry Optimus okay, mentions of in-show gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 20:39:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 17,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9842831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tumblinginmyfeels/pseuds/Tumblinginmyfeels
Summary: Post Predacons Rising AU. After combining the Matrix of Leadership and the All-Spark Optimus expected it to be the end for him. Primus had other plans and now the former Prime will have to find out who Optimus, Orion, himself, and another identity he barely remembers are.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Last Lullaby](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/266378) by Ardent Aspen. 



> Standard disclaimer: I don't own Transformers of course.

It started with the amnesiac Optimus Prime.

Orion Pax and Megatron sat in the Officer's mess hall, sipping energon in silence. Megatron of course had other motives to be sitting with him right then, and both of them knew more than the other was letting on.

“You’re not clumsy anymore Orion.” Megatron finally said. Breaking the ice so to speak and continuing to pretend the other wasn’t keeping secrets.

Orion shifted uncomfortably, both from the question and it being suddenly spoken, and avoided eye contact.

“I have no idea why.” He mumbled.

Megatron just made a quiet disbelieving sound.

“Clumsiness is often a sign of an ill-fitting frame.” He said conversationally.

Orion sunk in his chair.

“Oh, but you already knew that.” he smirked, and he was enjoying exposing Pax’s secrets. He was enjoying this cruelty. “Didn’t you?”

Pax was silent.

“Nothing to say for yourself?” Megatron went on. “The question is why a data clerk is more comfortable in a warrior's body than one made for them. You have a theory old friend?”

“I-” Pax took a moment to gather his thoughts. “I remember...a name.” Megatron frowned at the abrupt change of subject, but made no comment. Pax wouldn’t have completely changed the subject so it must have something to do with his theory. “I remember it being spoken so many times for a long time. I don’t know whose it is, but…” Orion paused. “I remember...someone. They made feel cared for and loved. Much more than the people claiming to be my parents ever did.” Megatron didn’t miss the implications of the last sentence. “I did research. There was a law passed that only applied to the lower castes. I couldn’t find out what happened to the children after, but when The Cybertronian Child Homing Act-”

“ _You know **nothing** of that_!” Megatron hissed out.

Orion leaned back from Megatron’s sudden fury. His face was twisted and furious, and his red eyes brightened until they almost looked like fire.

Orion decided to stop talking about it.

Megatron took several minutes to calm down. He took a long drink from the cube and set it back down more forcefully than necessary. The silence stretched on.

“What was the name?” Megatron asked. He still sounded angry. “The name you remember?”

Orion decided to be honest. “Delta.”

Megatron quickly realized the entire conversation was a huge mistake.

* * *

 

_Reproduction on Cybertron happened like this:_

_A spark rises from the depths of the Well of Allsparks, and the spark is captured and documented and a name or names are taken from a list of citizens who wish to be parents. The spark is assigned a caste based off the parent(s) and is given a frame. The new parent is called and notified to pick up their new sparkling._

_Of course the vast majority of the Cybertronians on the list signed up to be there, but sometimes mistakes are made._

_As a nameless miner in Kaon found out._

_“I didn’t sign up!” the miner, commonly nicknamed D-16, almost shouted at a child protection services secretary. The bot leaned back from his desk a bit, but looked otherwise unperturbed._

_“We can’t prove that.” The bot said. “You can give up the sparkling after a couple of days, but the number of parentless younglings in Kaon far exceeds the resources we have for them.”_

_D-16 growled, but showed no other sign of his frustration. Did this high-caste government rookie not realize he knows that? That he didn’t know he was condemning this child to a life without parents, but what life could he provide the child?_

_He sharply turned away and stomped out, his anger palpable in every step._

_It was a little while later and, the nameless miner and the sparkling sat on the bed staring at each other._

_Since he lived in the quarters in the mines he’s been keeping the child at a safe house. A place for children where their parents can’t or won’t keep them where they live. The mines were far too dangerous for a child, and the Cybertronians who run them are known to provide subpar care for a ridiculous amount of credits and keep children from getting an education._

_Not that he could pay for school now. Not that he could give the child anything._

_Despite all of that… He didn’t remember his own parents, no fuzzy memories, no cosy feelings, the name that gave him, if they gave him a name, just nothing._

_The system was overloaded, and with no families or resources many children ended up here, the gladiator pits, or...worse._

_He wished he didn’t have to make this decision; either way he was condemning the little one. Maybe, just maybe, they had a bit of a better chance with him. He could...pick up more hours. Earn extra credits at the gladiator pits. Keep them at the safe house._

_The child could have a better life than this._

_The sparkling was almost asleep by the time D-16 came to a decision, and almost started wailing when they were suddenly snatched up. It didn't last though not when they were pressed again a warm chest. It was the first scrap of affection they've been given._

_He sat there for a long while, holding the child and thinking, before he came to another important decision._

_“Delta.” he spoke, almost a whisper. As if this word was sacred. “Your name is Delta.” D-16 held the sparkling close._

_Delta was asleep by now. Head and tiny hand pressed against his chest._

_He kept repeating it, as if he believed if he repeated it enough Delta would always remember their name. Remember they were given one. That even if something happened to either of them Delta would remember that name._

_That just having a name was a step up from him._

_It wasn’t fair._

_It wasn’t fair the higher castes can oh-so-easily care for their young, and the lower ones could only struggle. It’s not fair that the children of senators live in luxury when their children will struggle every day._

_It wasn’t fair._

_The thought thrummed in his energon, it was stuck in his head. The seed was planted, and the inequality that was present in every aspect of their lives was the perfect environment for it to grow._


	2. Chapter 2

Megatron didn’t take action until after Optimus Prime was restored.

During the War the Decepticons have had many victories. Many of which wielded the acquisition of information. After one battle they gained the complete citizen profiles of thousands of Cybertronians, that only the highest of senators had access to, including Optimus Prime.

He...avoided it for a while. Definitely not because he was scared of course, but...if what Orion said was true then…

Was he prepared for whatever Optimus’ profile contained? If the answer was yes or no, was he prepared for the consequences?

If it was no then Optimus tore open a still unhealed wound, but if it was yes…

Despite all of this he could not run from the answer. He was no coward, and he could never continue on with such a question hanging over his head.

He eventually found himself in front of the monitor. Soundwave stood behind him off to his right, and prepared for...he wasn’t entirely sure.

A quick search later Optimus Prime’s name popped up. A click and he scrolled past information about Optimus and Orion. After all the information about Orion there was yet another page.

He scrolled onto it and was greeted by ‘The Cybertronian Child Homing Act’.

He also saw his citizen number.

Delta’s citizen number.

Delta was Orion Pax, and that meant…

Megatron felt sick. A mixture of fury and grief permeating from him. The one who made him begin to question the status quo, the one that betrayed him, the one who was taken from him, the one who received validation from his oppressors, his baby, his greatest enemy.

Soundwave stood closer; he was a calm, steady presence against his turmoil-ridden one. After a few long moments Megatron finally slammed his fist over the power button. The machine was effectively turned off he sharply turned around.

His hands were shaking.

Soundwave knows a lot of things, and no one knows Megatron like he does. So he did the most helpful deed he could do at that moment.

“ _Recommend_... **inaction**... for... **now**.”

For a moment it looked like Megatron was going to argue, but “Yes, to do anything right now would be foolish. I will think this information over.”

And life continued as normal. Except it didn’t.

Soundwave thought about suggesting that Megatron use this information to gain an advantage over Optimus, but he didn’t know what Megatron’s end goal was. He wasn’t sure Megatron even knew what his own end goal was.

There were times that Megatron attacked the Autobots so fiercely Soundwave was sure Megatron hated Optimus Prime more, hated the child that betrayed him; there were other times Soundwave was sure Megatron could give up on the Decepticon Cause. This indecision was brutal. This flooding and ebbing of anger and sorrow was affecting both him and Megatron.

No one else was privy to this agony of course. Not even the subject of Megatron’s indecision was aware that something wasn't quite right with him.

Megatron’s intent became even more obscure as time went on. He cut off his arm to attach a Prime’s, his right arm too the one that held his fusion cannon his pride as a gladiator, so he could wield the twisted version of Optimus’ Star Saber. He blew up the Autobot Base and almost surely killed Optimus.

Soundwave found out Megatron was keeping Optimus’ profile in a datapad. A few sentences were circled helpfully. Soundwave did nothing. His Lord could do what he pleased with the datapad.

The war did come to a head, but the battle left Soundwave trapped and Megatron dead at the bottom of the ocean. Dead by the scout’s hands. Not even by Optimus’ hands but the scout! In retrospect Megatron could hardly say he was shocked. Surprised at its suddenness sure, but not that the scout could.

He's proven again and again he was pain in Megatron’s side.

He never did tell Optimus about the nature of their...relationship. When he thought back on it, as much as Megatron hated to admit it, he was unprepared for what revealing that information would mean.

**Unicron wasn’t done with him yet.**

* * *

 

_Everyone always commented about how curious Delta was._

_And they were many who implied that his curiosity was a troublesome trait. The miner, now called Megatronus, still tried to nurture his child’s inquisitive nature._ _His child was also stubborn and quiet._

_“Those later childhood years are going to be quite interesting.” he chuckled as Delta ran their hands over the face of one of Megatronus’ acquaintances. Their attempts to stop the action were for naught, and it was rather amusing to see the gladiator give up and let Delta continue exploring his head. “_

_The senators know about the safe houses.”_

_“So?” Megatronus said talking Delta back._

_“There's talk about shutting them down. They say they're nothing but glorified orphanages meant to prevent children from loving homes and they are centers of abuse. They also say they’re a hotspot of kidnapped children and trafficking.”_

_Megatronus was silent for a long moment._

_“I've never heard such an incredible lie before.”_

_“That's what they heard. ‘Course that's what they want to hear. We don't have a say in the conversation since we're instigators apparently and too ‘biased’.”_

_Megatronus looked down at Delta. They were gleefully messing with his digits and thankfully oblivious to the conversation. Worry settled into his chest._

_“They've tried to pass legislation like that before attacking organizations actually helping us. I'm sure this won't pass.” The other mech said quickly sensing his worry._

_“I hope you're right.”_


	3. Chapter 3

Optimus Prime felt almost serene flying to the core of their planet.

He opened his chest plates to reveal the Matrix.

The Prime closed his eyes and relaxed as he neared the light. It became blinding and he heard a voice.

"Optimus Prime." He's heard that voice before. Once, a very long time ago, but one never forgets the voice of Primus.

"I am here." He softly said, not knowing what else to say.

"Yes you are." Primus said.

Optimus couldn't read his tone of voice. There was silence for a long moment.

"Primus I do not-"

"You care deeply about them." Primus interrupted. Optimus was quiet at that. What was there to say? It was the truth.

"I do. With my entire spark."

"Yet you do not live to see them in peace. Or you yourself live in the peace you fought so hard for." Regrettable yes, and yes when told like that it did hurt, but Optimus could do this one last thing. He’s done everything he's set out to do, and even more. Their planet’s core was restore, the All-Spark is back, there's, peace, and Megatron denounced the Decepticons.

He's told Ratchet there was a small part of him that hoped to change his mind, not extinguish his spark. There was a larger part that could scarcely believed Megatron actually did change his mind.

The datapad Megatron gave him sat heavy in his subspace.

The thought that he didn't leave after denouncing the Decepticons. He stood apart from his Autobots and Knockout, but he still saw him fly into the Well of All Sparks.

"Yet you are weary. Many would wish for rest. I would wish you rest." Primus said next. "Your spark is conflicted."

Optimus decided not to respond to that. A thick, heavy silence.

"All become one. All beings die. Your spark will eventually come here again." The deity said. "I-"

"I release you, Optimus formerly Prime, last of the Primes, from the Matrix of Leadership and by extension the All-Spark. By me it was given to you and taken back."

The former Prime felt the Matrix slowly release itself from his spark and body. It's streams of knowledge and power drying and retreating back into the Matrix. It left him bereft. Optimus felt like his mouth was moving without his permission.

Primus raised a non-existent eyebrow.

"It's not fair that I live while so many others have perished."

"And how will one more death fix that? How will your death fix all those other deaths? Do you want the new Cybertron to begin with your friends mourning the loss of someone dear to them? I am beginning to think you want to be another casualty."

"I told them not to grieve for me." Was all Optimus could say.

"And you thought they would not?" Was Primus' response.

The Matrix glowed brightly and Optimus could feel Primus tugging it away.

“The Age of Primes are over. I only wish the best for Cybertronians Optimus the former Prime.”

The light vanished and Optimus was left mid air and with the Matrix. He began to fly back up and after a few seconds there was a rumble and explosion of light. Optimus reached the top seconds after the sparks.

He would swear the timing was an accident, but everyone would tease him for ages about dramatic entrances. Bumblebee ran up to him and almost hugged him in relief but refrained last minute.

“How are you here? You said you were already one with the All-Spark!” Arcee said, sounding angry when she was actually happy.

“Primus took back the Matrix. I am no longer a Prime.” The was a moment of quiet, but Ratchet broke the hush.

“We did not follow you for your title Optimus.”

That was enough for him.

He glanced over at Megatron, still there still quiet, and he was starting to get uncomfortable.

Optimus did not like Megatron’s softer, almost vulnerable but not quite, look on his face when he gave him the datapad. He was not sure he wanted to know what was on it, but he survived and he would have to deal with whatever consequences it will cause.

Perhaps he was being overdramatic.

* * *

 

_Hope was a lie._

_Nobody expected the legislation to pass, but it did. It passed in secret too, and the any child found in them were to be taken. Since, ‘of course’, they had to orphans right? The caretakers were arrested and had no chance to call parents._

_Megatronus didn’t even know Delta was taken away until days after it happened. When he did find out, oh when he found out, he was absolutely beside himself._

_He went to the child protection agency but they knew nothing, he hounded the police in Kaon for weeks, he even tried to confront the High Council but couldn’t even get into Iacon._

_Megatronus was arrested and detained for a few days from ‘making a scene’. He only regretted not being able to punch every one of them before they got the cuffs on. He went back to Kaon worse for wear, tired, and inconceivably angry._

_They took his baby away from him and they no intentions of giving them back._

_It wasn’t fair._

_It wasn’t fair._

_It wasn’t FAIR!_

_They would never do this to those high-caste tyrants! Why was it like this? Who decided some lives were worth more than others? Did they not all come from the same place?_

_Who knew what fate waited for Delta._

_He’s heard all sorts of rumors. Anything from caste reassignation to doing jobs worse than the mines to slavery or worse._

_No, no he can’t let that happen. He can’t leave Delta to fate._

_“I’ll save you.” he croaked, he hasn’t spoken in days he didn’t want to converse with the tyrants that helped take Delta away from him, and then looked to the sky. “I’ll save you, I promise Delta, and...and...I’ll change our fates. I’ll start a revolution, we’ll be free Delta, we’ll all be free, I promise.”_


	4. Chapter 4

Optimus wished he never read the datapad.

The wish felt somewhat childish, but he could hardly bring himself to care.

His hands were trembling as he read over the information again, and there was no escaping it. 

He was glad Megatron wasn’t in that room at the time; without the the Matrix to help control his emotions he feared what he would've done. 

Ignoring Megatron’s part in this for now it made perfect sense. He did research on that rehoming law after meeting Megatronus a few times. It was a stunt to divert attention from their inaction.Additionally the Cybertronians that claimed to be his parents could barely stand to even hear about him, he remembered a name, and he remembered someone different. Someone he thought to be his actual parent. 

The thought that they were Megatron, or Megatronus really, made him feel queasy and his spark heavy. 

It vaguely reminded him of those Greek tragedies Rafael and Jack tried to explain to Miko much to her chagrin.

By the All-Spark he would have to tell all of them eventually wouldn’t he? Optimus would also have to confront Megatron about what exactly was the nature of their relationship. Then there was rebuilding Cybertron and...a certain...discomfort...of being called by Optimus or Orion. 

Optimus was the Prime and Orion was an archivist. He was no longer a prime, but he retained his memories of being Optimus so he wasn't Orion either.

The name Orion felt too...outdated. Obsolete.

He felt like he was both of them and neither at the same time. And he definitely wasn't Delta either. That was the correct name right? He looked down at the datapad again.

Delta was a child lost to time, and someone almost nobody remembered. 

Megatron did of course, and...those implications are very uncomfortable. He would eventually have to discuss this information with Megatron, but for now he was going to allow himself to be silently petty about it. 

This was...confusing. 

Thankfully Megatron was avoiding him. Whether it was him giving him space or just his distaste for him Optimus didn’t know, but he was grateful for it nonetheless.

Not just for his sake, but for everyone’s. Autobots and humans, once told, alike were having trouble...adjusting...to the Decepticons being there.   
Megatron wasn’t just avoiding him, although he did avoid him more than the others, but everyone except Soundwave. Wasn't that an adventure explaining to Megatron that his human allies trapped his third in command in an alternate dimension? But then the question remained. Perhaps he was reassembling his identity? He’s been preaching ‘peace through tyranny’ for a long time and to suddenly abandon that principle, no matter how flawed, could’ve shaken up his sense of self. 

With Megatron hanging back Optimus has been careful not to overstep his boundaries with the Decepticons. 

Everything was fine. More than fine really…

This is more than he could’ve hoped for.

He looked down at the datapad again. 

Optimus sighed.


	5. Chapter 5

It took several more weeks before Megatron cornered Optimus.

 

Optimus was reaching a zenith of frustration, although from what he wasn’t entirely sure. He knew his spark was conflicted because who he was without the Martix and from the knowledge of his...connection...with Megatron. 

 

He was driving across what used to be the Sea of Rust. He was driving very fast; he was driving probably far too fast for his tires but Optimus wasn’t really thinking about that. 

 

The speed, the dips, the rises, the bumps it felt...comforting. It fed into his frustration, but also relieved it. 

 

It was a strange feeling. 

 

He furiously drove around for about an human hour before he heard the familiar sound of Megatron’s alt-mode. 

 

Optimus deccelerated and stopped and Megatron transformed mid-air and fell in front of him.

 

Megatron always was one for the dramatics. 

 

He transformed and stood, but the previous frustration was still there. 

 

“I assume you wish to speak with me Megatron?” 

 

“Always one to state the obvious Optimus.” and he did not continue.

 

The silence stretched on for several more moments.

 

“Is this about the information you’ve revealed to me?” Optimus finally asked. 

“What else could it be about?”

 

Wasn't that a loaded question.

 

“As long as I've known you, and you have mentioned a child. I thought Megatronus would've used it as fodder for change.” Optimus finally stated carefully.

 

“Anyone in The lower castes knew of that injustice. Others spoke of it and I...could not bring myself to…” Megatron noticed Optimus’ expression. “You ask for my honesty, but are uncomfortable by it? Truly amazing Optimus Prime.” 

 

“I am no longer a Prime.” 

 

“As you are adamant in reminding everyone. Yet it seems to me that it doesn't matter to your Autobots.”

 

Optimus did not reply.

 

“I believe we need to discuss what we want the nature of our relationship to be.” Megatron declared next as he clasped his hands behind his back. 

 

Optimus almost found the statement absurd. He was still dealing with the fact that Megatron-

 

It was wise not to continue that line of thought at the present moment. 

 

He wasn’t ready to make a decision on  _ that  _ yet.  

 

“Megatron, we have...too many other issues to discuss and too much  _ to do _ before we even begin to deal with this.” he replied hand resting on his forehead.

 

Optimus knew it was foolish, but he half-hoped Megatron would leave it alone after that. 

 

“Oh? And please share Optimus the former Prime.” Megatron challenged, he knew of course, but he pushing Optimus for the fun of it.

 

“What happened between Megatronus and Orion, the war and all that has happened, the Autobots and Decepticons reconciling at least somewhat, rebuilding Cybertron, creating a better society, and your burning hatred for me.”

 

“And you wish to speak of all that?” Megatron asked only half joking.

 

“Never. But if we Cybertronians are to move forward we need to work together. I do not want a power imbalance between us so I want you to lead with me. We can forge a better Cybertron. Together.”

 

“You always have been the practical one Optimus.”

 

He decided to take that as a yes.

 

Optimus continued. 

 

“Why did Orion make you so angry? Why did Orion speaking to help you made you vow to destroy him, destroy me?” the question, although said neutrally, had implications. The question was laced with an implied desperation more expected of someone younger than him. 

 

Optimus could easily imagine Megatronus as a parent. Orion himself used to see him as somewhat of an elder family member figure. Like a brother, or sometimes like…

 

He couldn’t finish the thought. Not when he now knew that Megatron truly was his...

 

Megatron  _ laughed _ at Optimus’ question. Optimus had to push down annoyance in his spark. 

 

“Oh how unsurprising! And here I thought Orion and Optimus were perceptive!” Megatron said. “I...cared for...Orion. I easily called him brother. And I was mentoring him. He was my friend and an extension of my beliefs.” Megatron explained. “Yet, Orion  _ betrayed _ me! His words differed from mine, he  _ spoke over me _ ! Orion  _ silenced _ me! He spoke over my words! He received the validation of the council that was oppressing me, him, and...others. They would never abolish the caste system and they agreed with your words! They wanted to make you an oppressor too.” 

 

His words were animated and spoke of an anger that covered eons. Optimus was not surprised at the anger, but was a bit surprised by the words. He’s tried to think of Megatron’s point of view of that day for ages, but he has been mostly unsuccessful. 

 

He thought over his next words carefully. 

 

“Orion only meant to help. I...knew you were acting different those weeks leading up to the council meeting. I had...no idea that you going to speak the way you did there. I followed Megatronus because I trusted and respected him, and I believed that his cause was just. The Megatronus that day spoke in a way that frightened me. I never thought you would speak so arrogantly or violently. That Megatronus I wouldn’t  _ I couldn't  _ follow. You were betraying your cause; You were betraying  _ yourself _ . I never wanted their validation and I never thought I would be a Prime.” Optimus paused. “I never thought you betrayed me, it felt too selfish, but that betrayal to yourself...I only tried to help you.”

 

The silence stretched. 

 

“This has been informative.” Megatron said finally breaking the quiet. His voice betrayed nothing nor did his body language, and Optimus was left to wonder if his words reached him or not. It was unsettling for Megatron to be so flippant after such an harrowing conversation. 

 

“That’s  _ it _ ?” Optimus asked and he truly had to make it a question instead of an hiss. ‘leaving to wallow in your thoughts about how much you despise me?’he was barely able to not say. 

 

“This conversation between us was most enlightening Optimus. We both have much to think about.”

 

Optimus narrowed his eyes and tried to quell the rising annoyance and anger in his spark at Megatron’s relaxed attitude.

 

He transformed again and drove right, away from Megatron and the opposite way he was going before Megatron interrupted him. Megatron transformed to and started heading the same way. 

  
This...conversation was a start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The whole 'Megatron hates Optimus' are discussed more in these metas by Optronixes, and I am going to use them more later.   
> http://optronixes.tumblr.com/post/108607097338/so-the-other-thing-i-try-not-to-think-about-a-lot  
> http://optronixes.tumblr.com/post/107929510033/optronixes-megatron-kills-optimus-over-and-over  
> http://optronixes.tumblr.com/post/108120107548/optronixes-how-obsessed-must-megatron-be-with  
> http://optronixes.tumblr.com/post/35948990444/when-megatron-stands-in-front-of-the-omega-lock-on


	6. Chapter 6

Megatron figured he could no longer avoid the rest of the Decepticons and Autobots. 

 

The conversation between him and Optimus was enlightening. In multiple ways too because he’s never seen Optimus so frustrated before. 

 

He was half enjoying seeing Optimus lose control, but…

 

His shifting emotions towards him was not concern.

 

‘ _ Yet _ ’ his mind happily interrupted, seeming to revel in his agony and changing feelings. He mentally pushed the thought away. 

 

Megatron still felt angry at Orion, but it felt much more petty now. It wasn’t true fury anymore, but just the ashes and embers of fury. Yet forgiveness did not come easily. 

 

Nothing came easily anymore after Unicron’s possession. 

 

Now was not the time to think about that, how he became the oppressor the tyrant, he became his own oppressor.

 

Optimus was right. They had far too much to work through before they dealt with their...connection. Besides he wasn’t too much further along in dealing with it than Optimus was, and there was still a mental disconnect between Delta and Optimus. Like he still couldn't quite think of them as the same person at first thought. 

 

It was probably for the best. Even if him and Optimus did achieve a more familial relationship, he was never going to get Delta back. 

 

And there would always be the past standing between them. 

 

Giving Optimus the datapad and denouncing the Decepticons was him making his final decision on that matter, but now he wasn't sure what to with himself.

 

What to do about all that he's done.

 

What to do about how to be better, or if he even really wanted to.

 

Observation seemed to be the best course of action for now. 

 

Not just for the intel, but also for the amusement.

 

Once the small two-wheeler, Arcee he believed her name is, was going ‘stir crazy’ and Optimus offered to spar with her.

 

She said no, and made some flippant comment about ‘Nemesis Prime’.

 

“What?” He had asked utterly confused. There was no Primes anymore, and Optimus was the last so who…? 

 

Both her and Optimus looked over at him. 

 

“The knockoff Optimus MECH created.” She looked like she was going to say more, but gave Optimus a half smile. Like it was an inside joke between the Autobots. Even if the experience itself wasn’t funny at all.

 

“Not a fun experience to be at the other end of Optimus’ fists.” Bulkhead interrupted walking up to them. He rubbed the side of his face as if he was still having phantom pains to prove his point.

 

“Or his grill.” Arcee added rolling her neck and shifting her shoulders.

 

There were other instances like that; other times the Autobots mention some incident no one besides them were privy to.

 

Any mentions of the ‘Arctic’ earns a shiver and mumbled curses from Arcee and even discomfort from Optimus. All the other Autobots seemed to share the sentiment.

 

“Nothing good ever happens in the Arctic.” Arcee grumbled.

 

Optimus paused and almost smiled. “I would have to agree.”

 

And there were countless other examples of these inside jokes and experiences. Listing all of Optimus’ past dramatic entrances was a favorite among the Autobots at the moment. 

 

They made Optimus laugh a few times. Their reaction made it obvious they haven't ever heard his laugh before, but after the first time Megatron noticed a distinct increase of the Autobots telling jokes. It didn’t take long to figure out wordplay jokes were Optimus’ favorite type of jokes. Once Optimus gave this loud, snorting laugh at some pun Arcee was telling Bulkhead and Bumblebee that immediately made his snap his battle mask on in embarrassment. They all descended into harder giggles at the laugh and had to convince Optimus to stay when he claimed he had to go on patrol.

 

“C’mon you’ve seen way more embarrassing things from us than a snort-laugh!” Bulkhead chortled.

 

“Speak for yourself. You alone give us enough embarrassing moments to last weeks!” Arcee teasingly responded. Optimus just softly smiled at their antics. 

 

His observation also yielded, by the All-Spark he was starting to sound like Soundwave, other results too.

 

Prime’s people did not follow him out of fear or resources, but because of shared ideology and respect. They are loyal to him and him to them.

 

It was almost strange to witness. 

 

He would not apologize, but he could…

 

Megatron has no idea what he could do. 

 

Still, it was almost strange to watch their close relationships with each other. Even Optimus who seemed more apart from the rest easily has words of comfort or advice and a gentle hand on the shoulder. An odd little habit he was strangely engrossed by. Didn’t he once used that movement with amnesic Optimus? 

 

Optimus was more apprehensive to lead Megatron’s former Decepticons, even along beside him, but no one seemed to mind to badly. Knockout seemed more willing compared to the rest.

 

Knockout was really trying to be better, without trying to seem like it of course, and Optimus truly appreciated his efforts. 

 

It was all he could ask of either former faction. 

 

It was a confusing and tense time for everyone. Optimus seemed optimistic about the future of Cybertron and he was letting everyone be to adjust to having everyone being there. Forgiveness did not come easily and Optimus didn’t expect it to. 

  
It was going to take a while before everything was looking like it was going to be okay.


	7. Chapter 7

Arcee and Knockout were talking. They were tasked to do assess the condition of buildings and such, and they amiable terms.  

 

No one would call them friends, but when Knockout stumbled upon a new memorial Arcee made for Cliffjumper there on Cybertron they had a mutual understanding between them. 

 

Knockout was pretty good at pretending he didn’t care, but Arcee knew that deflecting technique. Knockout knew that stiff stand-off attitude. 

 

Friendships formed from loss was a common

 

And they didn’t have a personal vendetta against each other. 

 

Neither was entirely sure how the subject came up, but they found themselves talking about Optimus.

 

“I guess you can say the Big O is a  _ prime _ example of a leader.” he joked flippantly. 

 

“That joke was terrible, yet true.” Arcee replied crossing her arms. “He’s being lenient on you Cons; We’re just strictly allowed to race.” she added.

 

It was true, but Optimus did impose some rules on the whole thing and was very adamant about Knockout knowing the importance of not breaking those rules. 

 

“Is he always like that? About following rules and whatever?” he asked curiously. Megatron was all over the place about rules, but punishments however…

 

“Yes, he doesn’t want anyone hurt and he’s all about moral rules too. Although Ultra Magnus is still the strict rule follower of the group.” Arcee paused “That racing incident back at Jasper, with Bumblebee, we knew we were all scraped when we got back to base.”

 

Knockout couldn’t imagine Optimus using physical force against his troops.  “Big on lecturing?”

 

Arcee blinked. “Oh no, he doesn’t lecture.  He gave us a stern conversation about the safety of humans and maintaining a low profile and responsibility. Have you ever heard of the human saying ‘I’m not mad, just disappointed’? I think I would’ve rather fought you again than had to endure that.”

 

“By the All-Spark I don't I could endure an ‘disappointed dad lecture’.” Knockout said half jokingly. 

 

Arcee seemed to stiffen. 

 

“He is someone worth following.” Arcee said cryptically. “Have you noticed Megatron and Optimus have been acting strange?” 

 

Knockout let her change the subject. He had no reason to and he wouldn't appreciate being called out on changing the subject if it was himself.

 

“Extremely odd.” Knockout replied. He wasn't into gossip, and back on the Warship knowing someone else's business could potentially cause  _ trouble _ .

 

“So it isn't just me. We noticed Optimus has been off.”

 

“You could just  _ ask _ him.” 

 

“He'll tell us if it's important. It might not be any of our business.”

 

Knockout shrugged. It wasn't his business.

 

Optimus was probably fine. He's a former Prime and surely he realizes the loyalty of his Autobots?

 

* * *

 

 

_ There was a storm in his chest. _

 

Optimus felt anxious and he had no idea why, and the frustration just wouldn't go away. In addition, neither Optimus or Orion felt  _ right _ still.

 

He was barely able to refrain from snapping at some of the former Decepticons and even a few times at his former Autobots.

 

His lack of control over his own emotions just feed into the irritation and made it grow, and he was just plain worried. Somewhat over nothing, somewhat over the future. 

 

And there was the situation with Megatron on top of all this.

 

Everything was better than he could've ever hoped for, so why was he so upset over nothing?

 

Maybe that was the crux of all this. And without the Martrix he was left overly emotional and without wisdom.

 

The only good thing was no one seemed privy to his crisis. Although, his Autobots were starting to notice something was off with him.

 

It just left him to deal with all of...this. The thought felt both comforting and agonizing at the same time.

 

At least he was good at bottling his emotions, but there was almost too many to conceal anymore. 

 

_ His chest hurt. _

 

Both Autobots and Decepticons have been very busy with rebuilding, but there were moments with nothing to do.

 

Optimus finally was looking through human music. 

 

No one besides Bulkhead liked the music Miko was fond of, but humans had dozens upon dozens of genres to choose from.

 

It both made the emotions worse, and made him feel better.

 

Yet there was so much to do. 

 

Megatron stopped avoiding everyone after their conversation, and he has been helpful with the rebuilding and planning that needed to be done.

 

He still seemed a bit distant from Optimus though. Not entirely in a physical sense, but he rarely spoke to him outside of what was necessary.

 

Even if he was doing it for selfish reasons Optimus appreciated it nonetheless.  

  
He just hoped him and Megatron were progressing; he hoped they, and everyone, were healing.


	8. Chapter 8

They did not leave Earth unattended.

 

Rachet decided to stay on Cybertron, but was adamant in arguing that it wasn’t because of what almost happened to Optimus of course.

 

But the Autobots felt like constant communication with earth seemed like a good idea.

 

After the autobots gained their human allies it seemed like there was an overabundance of Cybertronian artifacts and attention from Decepticons and neutrals alike. 

 

No one knew if there was more, and the former Autobots didn’t want to abandon their friends.

 

Optimus did tell Agent Fowler about Megatron and the few remaining former Decepticons, and...he knew it would be difficult for him and his superiors to handle. 

 

Fowler was quick to tell him General Bryce and others would be coming down to have a chat.

 

Optimus dreaded it.

 

He liked the humans, and he wished them no harm, but they could be headstrong and quick to judge what was right and what was evil. He knew they had a great capacity to both help and hurt. Not that Cybertronians couldn't be like that too, but conversing with humans could be difficult. He wasn’t sure his thinning patience could handle that right now.  

 

Yet he also invited Megatron. He did not want to deceive them, so he was going to tell the truth and argue his case. It almost sounded like when he and Megatron stood before the Senators...

 

Maybe bringing Megatron was a bad idea.

 

He and Megatron stood inside the base. The equipment besides the computers had a some visible dust on them.

 

“Quite the downgrade Optimus.” Megatron grinned looking around the base.

 

A sharp stab of anger pierced his spark at the comment, but he remained silent.  

 

The cold silence continued until Fowler, Bryce, and several other humans arrived.

 

“Good evening. How are you?” he said politely.

 

The humans he hasn’t met seemed thrown off, but quickly recovered.

 

He quietly let them air their grievances, and did not interrupt.

 

“My reasoning behind having constant surveillance on earth is because there is many Cybertronians artifacts and it does attract Cybertronian attention. You are not equipped to deal with these if a problem arises. We have always tried to work under the conditions you gave us when we first came here.”

 

“That we are not arguing. Continued surveillance by the Autobots would be wise and perhaps you could also help in non-Cybertronian matters.” one of the women said. “What we are concerned about is you allying with your former enemies. Especially the leader.”

 

Megatron had not said anything up until then, and he was watching the debate with an amused grin, but here he decided to speak.

 

“I had a very unwelcome change of mindset after Unicron’s possession.” He declared, but did not go into detail.

 

What he didn't say, of course, was other...events… influenced his final decision about the Decepticons.

 

Both Optimus and Megatron were still unsure what to about their connection, and both of them were silent about the matter.

 

“That's too easy.” The other woman said.

 

“Oh?” Megatron said raising an eyebrow and setting his hands on his hips. “Tell me  _ general _ do you like your power? Do not answer I know you do. Imagine you're possessed by an entity that wants nothing more than destruction and they  _ use you _ . You are nothing more than their puppet and you are helpless and oppressed against them.” a heavy pause. “You realize you are  _ just like them _ .”

 

She was silent.

 

Megatron did not speak for the rest of the conversation, but he knew he proved his point.

 

The verbal dance continued. 

 

“How do we know he won't attack the earth if he decides to betray you?” General Bryce asked.

 

What to do indeed. 

 

“We can't know. If Megatron betrays Cybertron he most likely would attack earth. I will defend it. So will the Autobots. I have promised before I will defend this place to the best of my ability.”

 

Megatron had a stiff, guarded look on his face.

 

The conversation lasted a bit longer, and it was successful. The only extra stipulation was former Decepticons were not allowed on earth unsupervised. Optimus thought it could've gone worse. 

 

“You were quiet.” he stated to Megatron.

 

“I almost forgot you could be an persuasive speaker. And I still find myself annoyed by the humans.”

 

Ah yes. He was still angry about what they did to Soundwave.

 

After Megatron denounced the Decepticons and later asked about Soundwave they did promptly rescue him, but both Megatron and Soundwave had a...distaste for humans.

 

Optimus did talk to Jack, Miko, and Rafael about it and tried to impart the seriousness of their actions. 

He did not criticize them for their help and he and the others do appreciate it, but leaving one in the Shadowzone was almost as good as killing them if left there long enough.

 

They...were too young to be making decisions that harmed other living beings. Too young to be dealing with what was then their war. 

 

He disapproved of course, but he could not condemn them. Primus knows there has been times he was willing to break his own morals to bring an end to the war.

Coming back into the present Optimus realized this entire day seemed to much like  _ that one _ for him handle right now.

 

Thankfully he could avoid Megatron because Agent Fowler did not leave yet. 

 

“What's  _ really _ going on Prime?” he demanded. Fowler did not like secrets coming from these bots.

 

“I did not lie to your superiors Agent Fowler.”

 

“I know you didn't. But you omitted some truths.” Fowler seemed wary and on alert.

 

“I am no longer a Prime.” and that was the easiest fact he could admit out of what he didn't tell.

 

Fowler stiffened, most likely assuming he was stripped of his title for negative reasons, and cautiously asked his next question. “Why?”

 

“The Matrix of Leadership absorbed the All-Spark. They could not be separated neither could the Matrix from me without Primus’ intervention. Primus decided he wanted me to live.” Optimus responded. His voice was steady and even. He was glad he was alive of course, but he never imagined himself getting to the point of having to emotionally deal with the war and the events that led to it. 

 

It was incredibly draining.

 

“And there's more.” Fowler guessed. He was right, but Optimus did not want to admit his personal issues with him.

 

“I would rather not continue that line of discussion.”

 

Agent Fowler seemed annoyed but stopped. 

 

They went on the discuss a few other subjects like Fowler’s superiors, Cybertron’s progress, and topics like that.

  
Optimus felt a sliver of peace.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay kiddos here's a college tip. Do NOT take English Composition II, four days a week Spanish class, Speech, and Linguistics in one semester. It is hell and I'm more stressed out now then when I was taking 16 credit hours! Also thank the Undertale fandom for my update and my attempts to take a midday nap. I was filled with DETERMINATION and tiredness.

Even the dullest creature could see that Cybertron was in ruin. 

 

It wasn’t just the dull rusted collapsing buildings, eerie emptiness, and pests but a heavy feeling. 

 

Anyone who saw the planet could guess what happened there.

 

It was comparable to a human cancer patient in remission. The disease was gone, but the body still had to heal from its poisonous effects on its systems. The body still had to deal with the repercussions the disease causes. 

 

(Just like Optimus and his ever turbulent emotions)

 

Fixing it was a slow going process. Optimus was not surprised. With only twelve Cybertronians on the planet and a few missing Predacons it made sense that the rebuilding process was going slowly. 

 

Many areas they had to inspect because many were so close to crumbling even loud noises would cause them to fall over. 

 

Then there was the Tox-en infected areas. Bulkhead wasn't assigned clean up there because both Optimus and Ratchet feared it would reverse his progress after his last encounter with the substance.  

 

Telling the Decepticons about their new little way to deal with scraplets was incredibly amusing. 

 

They purposely avoided the Pedacons for now. 

 

Optimus and Megatron often spoke about divides in territory and power, but still avoided...it, but everyone was doing something to contribute. 

 

Such as now, Optimus, Bulkhead, and Megatron were discussing prioritizing certain structures and the subject of Six Lasers came up. Optimus looked particularly stern at the mention of the park, and Megatron gave him a slag-eating grin. Bulkhead just looked very confused at their reactions. 

 

The rebuilding process was already slow, but it was far too easy to get behind in work

 

Just like now. 

 

Bulkhead groaned as he watched the vehicons’ progress. Luckily for him he saw Optimus walk by talking to Megatron a few yards away. 

 

“Hey Optimus!” he called waving his arm for extra emphasis. They both stopped talking and turned to look at him.

 

Optimus turned to Megatron and said something, Bulkhead was too far away to hear, then started walking towards him.

 

For a moment the vehicons couldn’t breathe. 

 

Involving a superior officer in fallen behind work schedules only meant very,  _ very _ bad things. They all continued to work pretending not to hear and working faster, and hoping Bulkhead would change his mind about involving a commanding officer. 

 

Once he finally got to Bulkhead his next words shocked them.

 

“We got a little behind, do you think you can help us for a while? If you’re not too busy.” Bulkhead asked casually, like he’s done this before, like asking a (former) Prime to do manual labor was a action he did all the time. 

 

Based off Optimus’ reaction maybe it was.

 

“I can talk to Megatron later. What material and where?” Optimus replied without a hint of hesitance. He turned to Megatron swiped his hand in a ‘go on ahead’ gesture and turned back to Bulkhead to hear his answer.

 

The casualness of the situation shocked the vehicons.

 

There he was,  _ Optimus _ a former  _ Prime _ and former bearer of the  _ Matrix of Leadership _ , received from  _ Primus _ himself, working beside the vehicons and doing work usually reserved for ‘drones’. 

 

Even Wheeljack, who arrived at the construction site just as Bulkhead waved over Optimus, seemed surprised that Bulkhead would ask such a thing and Optimus would agree. 

 

And they all worked like this for a few hours.

 

Optimus could carry several times more what the vehicons could, so they got caught up quickly.

 

Then Bulkhead asked him to stay longer so they could work ahead, and although Bulkhead was clear in saying Optimus could leave if he wanted to Optimus easily agreed to stay longer.

 

It was actually and legitimately surreal for the vehicons.   

 

* * *

  
  


“I don’t know why you guys are so shocked.” Bulkhead would say later during a short break. After a few more hours Optimus did leave, so it was just Bulkhead, Wheeljack, and the Vehicons. “Why else do you think we would follow him? Yeah the Autobots reflected our morals more, but how do you think we able to fight for so long?”

 

Breaks was something the vehicons were enjoying immensely. 

 

“H-he’s Optimus Prime!” one vehicon said  While all of them still tended to keep to themselves, they were warming up to a few of the Autobots. Bulkhead being one of those few. The words clearly showing that Optimus’ name, his title alone, was excuse enough for their surprise. Bulkhead couldn’t really blame them. Primus knew there has been some spoiled primes that just sat around and were content to be the High Council’s plaything, and Wheeljack’s disdain for ‘leaders’ who abandon their troops amidst a losing battle was not unfounded.

 

Maybe in this new age for Cybertron that’s why Optimus is so adamant about no one calling him a Prime anymore. He wants to shed that title, with its implications, to show that he is equal. The Autobots didn’t need to be convinced of that of course, but the others didn’t know Optimus like they do. Like Bulkhead does. 

 

“Why? He has  _ never _ used his title to be above us. He’s always done his fair share, and more, of work. Optimus has always put others before himself.” 

 

“Rather selfless for a Prime huh Bulk?” Wheeljack said next nudging Bulkhead teasingly. “I guess I have to let my begrudging respect for him grow.” He added sounding like it as great burden he’d have to bear. Maybe in his mind it was.  

 

“If being a Prime means putting yourself before others then Optimus was never a Prime. Heh he’s kind of more of a da- more of a family member than a Commanding Officer.”

 

Nobody brought up Bulkhead’s small slip of tongue. 

 

“He’s a symbol to us no because he’s a Prime, but ‘cause he fights for what is right and he fights for it even at the cost of himself. That’s what the real deal means to me.”

 

Silence.

 

“Wow Bulkhead I don’t think I’ve ever say somethin’ so well-spoken.” Wheeljack said snickering and effectively ruining the moment.

 

“Just because you can spell worth scrap doesn’t mean you can take it out on me!” Bulkhead replied getting up and trapping his friend in a headlock. 

  
The conversation was getting to mushy for their taste.


	10. Chapter 10

_ The night before Megatronus and Orion Pax were to stand before the High Council they were sitting beneath the stars going over Megatronus’ speech. _

 

_ Well Orion was really. Megatronus seemed just a bit too self-assured about tomorrow than Orion would’ve been comfortable with. Despite that he didn’t say anything.  _

 

_ Megatronus just looked at the stars. His face was unusually neutral so Orion could not even begin to guess what was going through his friend’s mind.  _

 

_ “Do you understand that they have done terrible things.” Megatronus asked finally, his voice soft much softer than usual and it immediately put Orion on edge. _

 

_ Orion couldn't even imagine what the High Council have done to the lowest of the castes.  _

 

_ The citizens of Kaon were more than happy to provide details about those injustices to him.  _

 

_ One just started sobbing hysterically and the only words Orion could understand was ‘my child-!’.  _

 

_ When he told Megatronus of the incident he quickly dropped subject after his look of spark-wrenching  _ understanding _.  _

 

_ Megatronus knew exactly what they were talking about and it seemed to be so terrible not even he wanted to discuss it.  _

 

_ Maybe he too was a victim of the injustice.Or knew someone who was. Maybe both.  _

 

_ “I know brother.” Orion responded.  _

 

_ “So you understand why others just want to overthrow them.”  _

 

_ “I do brother.”  _

 

_ Their conversation lapsed into silence. _

 

_ Orion wanted to ask. He wanted to ask about what was being unsaid, he wanted to ask about Megatronus’ strange recent behavior, he wanted to ask about whether Megatronus  _ wanted  _ all of this is break out into civil war. _

 

_ Orion didn’t want this to become a war. He knew how Megatronus and his followers fought. He knew what Megatronus could do. He saw a gladiator fight once.  _

 

_ He heard the pained cries and shattering metal and the crowd’s deafening cheering. He saw the energon pooling on the ground as they dragged an injured or  _ dead _ gladiator out of the ring. He shook at the looks of glee or resignation on the gladiators’ and crowd’s faces. The ‘weaker’ ones begged for mercy. It was never given to them. The ‘stronger’ ones, like Megatronus his  _ friend  _ his _ brother, _ made a show of their fights. Like it was some horrific playwright instead of reality.  _

 

_ It was their reality. _

 

_ He spent the entire time half way to puking or crying.  _

 

_ Luckily he was able to compose himself enough that Megatronus didn’t suspect anything. His gladiator friends would have thought Orion was weak and pampered to have such a reaction to the fights. Maybe they would have been right judging by how Orion trembled the entire night once he was alone at his home.  _

 

_ It was not just strictly the gore that disturbed him really. It was both how necessary they seemed to think it was and the enjoyment some of the other mechs had. They enjoyed causing pain and agony in others.  _

 

_ During the match there was an instant where Megatronus turned in his general direction and for a split moment he thought of that expression on Megatronus directed at  _ him.

 

_ That was the closest he has ever come to crying in public. That specific moment was just embarrassing to think about.   _

 

_ “Do you think I can be a Prime?” Megatronus asked effectively startling Orion out of his thoughts.  _

 

_ Orion was so surprised by the sudden question he just sat there in stunned silence. Megatronus turned his head to look at him. _

 

_ “It’s not really my place to say.” Orion said guardedly. The answer felt safe enough, but it felt wrong. “But, I think you could.” _

 

_ Megatronus was fighting for justice, and he did care about his followers and cared about him. Orion admired him, and appreciated his teachings and company greatly.  _

 

_ Maybe he was letting his own feelings about Megatronus cloud his judgement, but the Megatronus he knew he would gladly follow. Title or no.  _

 

_ He’s never really thought about the title Prime much either. _

 

_ Megatronus grinned. The smile quickly fell as he looked back at the sky.  _

 

_ “We’re almost free.” he whispered. It was so quiet Orion almost didn’t hear him. Maybe he wasn’t supposed to hear him.  “Orion, tomorrow can you help me look for someone?”  _

 

_ “Of course brother.” Orion answered automatically. “Who?” _

 

_ “Not yet.” _

 

_ “Why?” _

 

_ And at that Megatronus froze and after a moment his face collapsed into a twisted, stricken expression. _

 

_ Orion had no idea who Megatronus just saw instead of him. _

 

_ “I have to leave right now.” Megatronus said hurriedly as he clamored onto his feet. _

 

_ “Megatronus you don’t have to go I’m sor-”  _

 

_ “It's not you Pax.”  _

 

_ Too bad for Megatronus because Orion could see straight through that lie. _

 

_ No matter what he said Megatronus would not stay and Orion was left under the stars.  _

 

_ Orion Pax did not consider himself fearless and there were many examples of that. _

 

_ He feared the reason why Megatronus was so startled from him just asking a simple ‘why’. Why only then? He's sure he's used that word around Megatronus before. What about him reminded Megatronus of someone all of a sudden? _

 

_ He feared he said the wrong thing when Megatronus asked whether he could be a Prime. He feared all of this will blow up in his face. He feared the secrets that were being kept from him. _

 

_ He feared the knowledge of his frame not feeling feel right. He feared the knowledge his ‘parents’ couldn’t stand him.  _

 

_ He could only sit there under the stars.  _

 

_ ‘No use now. Save it for later’ was were his thought process ended up.  _

 

_ He gathered up the datapads and placed them in his subspace and transformed.  _

 

_ He needed sleep. After all it was a big day tomorrow.  _

 

_ (Later Optimus Prime will feel nothing but regret and guilt about that night) _

 

_ (He feared he said too much and too little of what needed to be said. He missed the warning signs. Orion was honored of course at others thinking he was worthy of being a Prime, but he just didn’t want it. Later he had no choice but to accept) _

  
_ Too many of Orion’s fears came true that day. _


	11. Chapter 11

This time Optimus Prime was driving around on earth. 

 

His confusion and and annoyance was reaching a pinnacle again and he did not want to face anyone in this state. 

 

It was a sand-covered expanse of land, and Optimus had to admit given his vehicle mode driving here might not had been the greatest of all ideas. Still, it was away from everyone else and he needed time to quell the growing frustration in his chest. The last thing he wanted was to snap at someone, especially if they didn’t deserve it, or ‘lose his cool’.

 

Yet he heard the sound of familiar jets after not even an hour.

 

The annoyance raged within his spark, and did not settle down when he tried to force it too. If Megatron isn’t quick to say why he interrupted him he feared the conversation they might have.

 

It was not going to be a very good one with how Optimus is feeling.

 

“What is it Megatron? Is something wrong on Cybertron?” Optimus neutrally asked.

 

“You are acting strange.” Megatron replied back straight and hands clasped behind him. His voice was just as neutral as Optimus’ was.

 

A stab of irrational rage through Optimus’ spark. He’s always known Megatron to act strange, and once Orion Pax figured out he would never answer he dropped it. Optimus Prime couldn’t ask.

 

Speaking of questions Optimus had one. And he could avoid explaining why he was acting uncharacteristically. It was the only one really that  _ could _ be answered that he still wanted to know.

 

“How long did you know about me being your-” he didn’t finish. Part of him thought he couldn’t. And it was a question he was curious about but was unable to ask last time they spoke. Megatron proved time and time again he was willing to use any means necessary to use against him, so surely if he’d known for long he would’ve used that too.

 

Judging by Megatron’s sudden stiff posture he was not going to like the answer. 

 

“Shortly after you returned to the Autobots as Optimus Prime.” 

 

Optimus couldn’t help but wonder if Megatron even hated Delta because of Orion and Optimus. He could tell Megatron, or Megatronus, grieved for Delta, but did that all chance once he found out his child became his greatest enemy? Or perhaps Optimus was looking too closely into all this and he should consider himself lucky Megatron even changed at all. Although, that was a long time to know and Optimus could easily remember all that Megatron has done while knowing that he was-

 

Grief mixed in with the annoyance in his his spark to create a poisonous mix that made his spark almost too heavy to bear.

 

Megatron seemed oblivious to his turmoil. Or maybe he was purposely ignoring it. 

 

“Is that why you’re here? To mope?”

 

Optimus was not in the mood for Megatron’s mocking words. The grief started to morph.

 

“I thought you were above such things-”

 

He felt angry. Additionally, without the Matrix tempering his emotions and giving him control he was afraid he was going to ‘lose his cool’. It’s happened before even with the Matrix back on earth and when he hurt Rafael.

 

“Since you always went on about how you and your cause was better than-”

 

Optimus’ self control finally snapped.

 

Megatron easily saw the punch coming, but was surprised by it he didn’t react immediately. Though he did easily catch Optimus’ hand and tried to twist him to the ground, but Optimus would not be so easily defeated.

 

He positioned himself behind Megatron and kicked the back of his knees. Megatron collapsed onto the knee he had kicked and subconsciously let him go.  

 

Optimus wasn’t done with him yet.

 

Neither of them pulled out their weapons, but it was still a fierce fight.

 

“I  _ never _ thought myself above you!” Optimus hissed out as he punched again. “I always respected Megatronus and I looked up to him!”

 

He reeled from one of Megatron’s own blows but quickly recovered. He was rather good at it after all those years of battle.

 

“I respect what Megatron can do!” 

 

There was almost a calming familiarity to fighting Megatron.

 

“But look at what we have done to Cybertron! By Primus, Megatron, Bumblebee was just a child when-! Rafael wasn’t a soldier and yet-!”

 

Since finding out about their connection Optimus would sometimes wonder about Delta and whether they’d be scared of what their father had become. 

 

Of course he couldn’t answer that. And no one will ever know the answer. 

 

“I could not respect those values you held on to for so long!  _ You _ were above Megatron but you continued to act with hatred!”

 

‘Why were you so quick to hate me?’ was what Optimus didn't say. What he thought he could never say.

 

Of course Megatron didn't respond to his words. Just as he never responded to his pleas to stop the war, to stop the unnecessary violence.

 

He never changes. Or, really, he only rarely changes.

 

The rage and familiarity feed into each other as they fought. 

 

Both of them were well versed in the others weaknesses. When Optimus began to tire, although he wasn't too far off himself, he stopped fighting.

 

A small, irrational part of Optimus wanted to continue. The  _ rational _ side of him won out though. 

 

Optimus collapsed into a sitting position on the ground. One of his hands rested on top of his head while his arm rested on his knee as he stared at the sand.

 

By Primus, he got in a fight with Megatron. And it was  _ his  _ fault.  _ He  _ started it.

 

His anger had a new target now. Maybe it was always himself he was truly angry at. 

 

Megatron sat down next to him without a care, but was silent. Optimus didn’t dignify him a response. 

 

After a few moments of wincing and heavy breathing on both of their parts Megatron broke his silence.

 

“If you nee- want to you can talk to Soundwave. He won't reveal any secrets not even to me if I commanded it.” His voice was carefully neutral and did not betray anything. 

 

Optimus’ answer was instantaneous.

 

“Absolutely not.” 

 

Soundwave was too closely affiliated to Megatron for comfort. And what if they betrayed…? Also he didn't want to tell anyone about these feelings.

 

“It would be too uncomfortable on my part.” Optimus said, as close to the truth as he wanted to go. It was the truth, but it was just parts of the truth. 

 

They sat in awkward silence.

  
Optimus was just confused, a slightly annoyed, by Megatron staying.


	12. Chapter 12

Optimus respected every single one of his Autobots and was proud of every single one their achievements.

 

It’s just that his thinning patience couldn’t deal with Smokescreen at the moment.

 

They were evaluating the structural soundness of another deteriorating city, and Optimus could see already the former city was in extremely poor shape. Loud noises or one wrong step alone could send the massive buildings crumbling on top of them. 

 

While Smokescreen has learned immensely since their first meeting, he was still young. And talkative. 

 

Normally his ceaseless chatter wouldn’t bother him, even with his ever shrinking patience these days, but he realized both of them were ill-suited for this particular job.

 

Between his size and Smokescreen’s constant noise how likely one of the building falling on them was too high for Oprimus’ liking.

 

“So, Optimus, are you...okay? You’ve been acting weird for a while. And you and ol’ bucket head came back a few weeks ago all beat up then you say you two got in a  _ fight _ -”

 

Optimus really wished he wasn't here right now.

 

He’s already dealt with days of confused grilling from his Autobots about how and why he got into a fight with Megatron, and really he couldn’t give them the answers they deserved.

 

He almost lost his cool with them which only made him feel even more guilty. If Megatron didn’t deserve his fit then his Autobots didn’t deserve it even more.

 

He didn’t correct Smokescreen about his nickname for Megatron though.

 

“Megatron and I...I lost my temper when I shouldn’t have.” Optimus neutrally said as gentle as he could muster. He almost called what transpired between them a disagreement, but...the truth of the matter is he sunk to Megatron’s taunting. Megatron has been mocking him for millennia and he has never reacted violently.

 

It wasn’t the fact he was insulting him that upset him, but it was easier to lie to himself for now. 

 

Smokescreen  was silent for a moment.

 

“Whatever is going on between you and him it’s personal isn’t it? Because if it was about the ‘Cons possibly betraying us or even about the ‘Cons at really you’d be more cautious and warn us to be too. But you’ve been encouraging them, especially Knockout. So it’s Megatron you’re having a problem with, but he’s been weirdly helpful to all of us. But he seems singularly focused on you. Therefore you and Megatron are working through something, and judging by how different you’ve been acting it’s really messed up.” 

 

Optimus had to admit he was proud of his skills of observation. Although he never wanted them to know about how upset he’s been recently, or the reasons why. He was supposed to lead them not unload his burdens onto them. 

 

“Have I been that obvious?”  

 

“No. But we know you well enough to know something’s really been buggin’ you.”

 

Perhaps Optimus was going to admit what was going on or perhaps share more than he was letting on, but…

 

Optimus stepped right on a weak point in the ground. 

 

His foot and leg sunk right through, and it caused the surrounding area to crack and shift. 

 

Optimus froze in an attempt not to upset the area further, and Smokescreen’s body language changed as he realized what was happening.

 

“Optim-!” Smokescreen half-shouted as he tried to run to Optimus’ aid.

 

“Shhh!” he hushed as loudly as he dared as he held up a hand for Smokescreen to stop.

 

Several cracks expanded and got longer until it reached one of the decaying, burnt buildings. The ground shifted around it and in an instant Optimus knew that building was going down no matter what he or Smokescreen did. 

 

Unfortunately Smokescreen realized this too, and started running towards him again. 

 

The building was falling down fast and Optimus did not want Smokescreen caught in the rubble, yet he knew he would disobey any orders to leave him there.

 

He pulled his foot out forcibly and activated his jetpack. He shot straight towards Smokescreen.

 

The younger bot made a loud “oof” noise when they collided, but seemed uninjured.

 

Within seconds he realized they weren’t going the clear the building when it collapsed, so he did the only logical action at that moment.

 

He threw Smokescreen into the clear zone. It took Smokescreen a moment to reconcile his thoughts, but after a few seconds he shouted Optimus’s name.

 

‘Scrap.’ Optimus thought before the building and rubble landed on him.

 

* * *

 

 

When Optimus woke up he felt nauseous, he was in pain, and had an agonizing headache.

 

Also he was under several feet of rubble. 

 

The ‘being under rubble’ part was a little too familiar so he elected to ignore that part. 

 

His thoughts seemed disorganized and confused.

 

Ratchet was never going to let him hear the end of this when he gets out of here. 

 

He didn’t have to wait long until he heard voices. He tried to call out but his voice wouldn’t work right and it just made his splitting headache worse. He tried to move but his leg was pinned by a rusted pole.

 

To be completely honest he felt almost too tired to care. He should probably be worried about that. 

 

His comm activated and it took several minutes to get his arm to the side of his head.

 

:Optimus!: Ratchet exclaimed.

 

He winced a little at the shout but made no verbal show of his discomfort.

 

:I’m fine.: He responded.

 

Optimus cold feel his judging look through the comm.

 

:I’m injured. My leg is pinned and I likely have a concussion.: He amended. It was just easier for Rachet to know the extent of his injuries now rather than after a lecture about stubbornness. 

 

:Okay just keep talking it’ll be easier to find you that way.:

 

It took a bit longer for Ratchet and Smokescreen to find him, but it could have been worse. It took them a little longer to unpin his leg. To Optimus’ displeasure Megatron showed up to help, but he did not show any signs of annoyance. In his opinion to do so would be too petty for his taste. 

 

He heard Ratchet call for a groundbridge and both him and Megatron held up up. Smokescreen lingered eyeing his injured left leg. 

 

The situation was too familiar for both of their liking. 

 

His injuries didn’t appear to be life-threatening so both Ratchet and Megatron were moving slowly to try and not cause more pain. 

 

Knockout stood stiffly in the medical bay when they finally arrived through the groundbridge. 

  
Ratchet turned down the sensitivity of his pain receptors, and both him and Knockout got to work.


	13. Chapter 13

Ratchet assured the Autobots, although Knockout seemed strangely worried too, that Optimus' injuries were not severe.

 

Which was somewhat surprising given that his leg was almost cut right through the knee. Ratchet claimed Optimus got very lucky his injuries weren’t worse.

 

“Now the most difficult part.” Ratchet had said with a grave tone of voice and expression. “Getting Optimus to rest.” 

 

Judging by the Autobots’ battle ready expressions that seemed to be a more difficult than it needed to be.

 

Despite that, it wouldn't be an issue for at least a few more hours since Optimus was still under anesthesia from his surgery. 

 

Most of the Autobots have been in and out of the med-bay since Optimus arrived, but for now only Megatron was there.

 

He told himself it was only because he wanted to drop off reports and what-not for Optimus to read once he woke up.

 

Why he stayed Megatron did not care to think about. 

 

It was quiet in the med-bay. Ratchet was silently cleaning tools and Knockout left a while ago. 

 

Megatron was reading the datapad when he heard a small groan, or really, more like a pained breath.

 

He looked up at Optimus with a raised eyebrow. 

 

Optimus was still unconscious but there was a slight wince on his features. 

 

“Did you not give him painkillers?” Megatron asked Rachet skeptically. He doubted it, but-

 

“I gave him a lower dose. He dislikes being on them.” Ratchet curtly said not even looking up at him. Obviously there's more to it than Megatron was privy to, yet Rachet was not eager to share.

 

His features morphed into a small frown as he look back at Optimus. He was silent again, but his face was not completely relaxed anymore.

 

It was strange to see him like this. 

 

They both have had their more than fair share of grievous injuries, but Megatron has not seen Optimus in such a light. He has only seen the battles and he has never seen the aftereffects of those battles reflected by injuries.

 

It was strange to see all of this up close with the Autobots. It was strange to see their calm after a medical emergency, the flooding and ebbing of noise and pain, and the heavy stench of medical equipment. 

 

He never felt one way or another on medical centers, but he could understand why many beings dislike being at them so much. 

 

It was odd to see Optimus, usually so durable, weak and in pain. 

 

Optimus’ hand twitched weakly, and Megatron stared at it for a prolonged moment. 

 

Then it hit him.

 

He...he was concerned about him. 

 

Megatron’s mind immediately shied away from the idea as confusion filled his spark. He knew his feelings towards Optimus was shifting and has been for awhile, but it was still far too soon for his taste.

 

He didn't even know how he felt about Optimus anymore, and this just added his the helpless rage in his spark. 

 

Such concern was unwelcome from  _ both _ parties and it was far too sentimental for him to be comfortable with. Yet…

 

Yet Optimus was Orion and a former friend. He wasn't angry anymore, but forgiveness wouldn't not come. Maybe some day.

 

Yet Orion was Delta and his ch-. Neither of them were ready to deal with that information at this time. Despite his avoidance he thought for a second of Delta being in pain…

 

He felt nauseous.

 

(It was actually something he thought about before time to time ever since Delta was stolen and he wondered about their fate. It was always just as awful to think about no matter how many years it had been)

 

(He hasn't thought about for millenia because it was so terrible)

 

Megatron cautiously leaned closer to Optimus’ bedside after placing the datapad on his lap. He slowly reached over to Optimus’ slack hand and words were just on the tip of his tongue.

 

“You have no right to be worried about him.” A harshly spoken whisper stated in a matter-of-fact manner.

 

Megatron didn't flinch back, but he did carefully lean back into his chair in reaction to Ratchet suddenly speaking.

 

He turned to look at Rachet and found he wasn't even bothering to look at him. Just looking down at his tools as he cleaned them and putting them away.

 

“If you didn't want me here medic I thought you would've banished me by now.” Megatron knew he was taunting him, but with his confusion between both Optimus and his feelings regarding him he did not care. 

 

He probably shouldn't taunt Ratchet. Last time he taunted an Autobot who had a short temper with him they ended up in a fight.

 

It was  _ still _ odd to think that Autobot was Optimus.

 

Ratchet dropped the tool on the worktable with a huff and sharply turned around.

 

“All the times you've sent him here are countless and you just sit there and-! You have no right.”

 

“You will find, Autobot, that rights hardly mattered on the planet you were adamant on defending.” He knew it was petty and that Cybertron was dead. Despite that he would not bring himself to care.

 

(He  _ needed  _ control. Or at least he can pretend he has it right now.)

 

(He wonders what he would've done if he found out Optimus was Delta after killing him. He wonders what the Megatron of before the council and before Orion would have thought of all this. He wonders what he would have thought of, although to see it that way there needed to be technicalities, hurting his own child. He wonders and wonders and he will never have the answers.)

 

“Yet you'll find the Cybertron of old is gone,” Ratchet said repeating his earlier thought. “You still have no right. Even including what Optimus has told me in relation to the both of you.”

 

Megatron went completely still. “He told you about-”

 

“Yes?” Rachet replied almost confused by this reaction. 

 

Megatron was just...confused.

 

Optimus could barely seem to acknowledge their connection in private between the both of them much less to admit to it to any living being.

 

“You Autobots are confusing.” he finally said. And it was true. Decepticons may have been manipulative and had few morals, but at least their intentions were clear. This emotional baggage was too much.

 

He sighed and sunk into his chair. Ratchet raised an eyebrow.

 

“I'd rather not fight in your domain. I'd prefer not to be asked to leave.” Megatron said. Then a grin split across his face. “Or punched.”  He knew it would very effectively change the subject.

 

A long moment of silence.

 

“Did you just make a joke?” Rachet said with no hint of his astonishment being sarcastic. “Are you feeling well?” he added prepping his scanner.

 

“Your concern is truly touching.” If Rachet wasn't going to be sarcastic he would have to instead.

 

“I'm just used to you being an intolerant fragger.” Ratchet replied and his voice continued to be completely serious.

 

Rachet turned back to his tools with an apprehensive look on his face. “You still have no right.” 

 

Megatron didn't dignify him a response.


	14. Chapter 14

Optimus woke up groggy and confused. 

 

It took a moment for his eyes to clear up enough to see, and he could barely seem to move.

 

Him being in the med-bay was the conclusion he reached after a few moments. 

 

“How do you feel Optimus?” a voice suddenly said. It startled him a bit, but he gave no outward reaction. 

 

It took him a moment to realize the voice was Ratchet. This was confirmed when he finally appeared in his line of vision.

 

“Fine.” he slurred.

 

“Ah yes. Optimus, the absolute picture of health.” Ratchet scoffed and this time Optimus did not need a minute to figure out he was being sarcastic. He was too tired to amend his statement though. 

 

Before he could say anything else another face appeared.

 

_ Megatron _ . And Optimus reacted instinctively in response to that fact.

 

His right hand transformed into his gun and he fired. Megatron twisted away from the shot while Optimus’ left hand transformed into his blade. His gunfire would be useless because his hands were shaking so much but Megatron was  _ too close _ and his spark was fluxuating rapidly to the tune of ‘defend defend defend!’

 

“Optimus wait! Stop!” 

 

Why was Ratchet saying that?

...

Optimus paused for a moment, arms still raised and poised for action though, in utter confusion and then it all came flooding back to him. 

 

They weren't at war anymore. 

 

Megatron was not trying to attack them. ‘Probably’ Optimus’ minded added still on the defense.

 

“Scrap. My apologies Megatron.” Optimus said rubbing his head and trying to gain some semblance of clarity. 

 

Megatron’s defensive, ready to fight body language relaxed once he saw Optimus was calmer. “I know you dislike me, but I believe that reaction is a little extreme.” He stated with a smirk. It didn't look completely real. 

 

Optimus was not in the mood for Megatron’s taunts. Thankfully Ratchet noticed this and asked him to leave. 

 

And Megatron, strangely enough, left without another word. 

 

He would have to apologize again later when he wasn't drugged and confused. 

 

Rachet’s examination went well, and once the brace on his knee was tested to see if it could withhold his weight Ratchet said he could leave the med bay that day. 

 

Optimus couldn't be more happy about that. 

 

All throughout the day the Autobots and even Knockout came and left to check up on him, though Megatron had yet to reappear, but most of them didn't stay long. Partly because all of them had duties they had to do and mostly because they knew each other boundaries. Optimus disliked others hovering and worrying over him, so they tried to be as flippant about the situation that was comfortable. 

 

All the Autobots knew what were those silent rules and boundaries when it came to injuries and tragedies. All of them except Knockout.

 

He...hovered a bit too much for Optimus’ liking. Yet he tried to play it off with some flippant comments and a wave of his hand.

 

Optimus counted himself fortunate he was still extremely perceptive with his Autobots. Even if he was still learning with former Decepticons.

 

Find the root of the problem. Offer advice. 

 

“I did not think you were the type to worry.”

 

Knockout smoothly turned around from whatever he was working on that was set on the medical bench. 

 

“I'm not.” he said slowly placing his hand on his hip.

 

“You're hovering slightly.” 

 

“Is this you telling me to back off?”

 

“No. This is me trying to find out why. You don't need to worry. Additionally we both know we don't have the best history.” 

 

“That’s coming from  _ you _ ? I thought you wanted to start over with the Autobot Decepticon shabang? And I still haven't quite forgiven you for that door incident or all those times you scratched up my paint!”

 

“Why do you worry then?”

 

Knockout went still for a moment. 

 

“Megatron denounced the Decepticons.” a short pause. “You Autobots aren't too big on betrayal from my understanding? And somewhat nicer?” he almost made those sound like questions.

 

Optimus thought maybe he could see what Knockouts actual problem was. 

 

“I appreciate all that you are doing to help. It's hard to adjust at times but you are doing a good job. You do have a place among us.”

 

Knockout was a bit easier to puzzle out than some of his Autobots, and recognition for hard work can go a long way.

 

Knockout seemed almost startled. Despite that he quickly recovered and made some flippant comment.

 

Optimus was already aware that was probably a bit too sappy for Knockout’s taste. He hoped he understood the words in any case.

 

“It's funny. Before I never really had the best role models. Now I have one of the best.” 

 

Optimus felt confused for a moment, but quickly figured out the implication.

 

“I’m honored. And I mean it when I say you do have a place with us. We all still need to adjust.” Optimus replied. At this point he felt bold enough to place a hand on Knockout’s shoulder. He did it more carefully than usual to try and not scratch up Knockout’s finish. 

 

Knockout  _ laughed.  _

 

(He didn't push the hand away)

 

“I can see why the Autobots think of you as a father figure, you have the whole ‘dad act’ and everything!” 

 

He quickly stopped laughing once he saw Optimus stiffen and his expression go neutral.

 

“Um...was I not supposed to say it out loud? Wait you  _ know _ right?”

 

Of course Optimus knew. And of course he wanted to guide and watch every single one of his Autobots be happy and successful.

 

It just...that he's tried to maintain an emotional distance from them. Not to hurt them of course, but to carry burdens they didn't need to. To be the leader they needed. 

 

The knowledge they they looked up to him that much frightened Optimus. Primus knew he had some poor parental figures in his life and he wasn't the best person. 

 

It was uncomfortable to have that knowledge spoken aloud. He's not ashamed of course. It was just an...unspoken subject no one felt like talking about. 

 

It also brought up his...issue...about Megatron.

 

“Yes I knew.” Optimus said, stiff and formal, “I apologize there are datapads I need to catch up on.” 

 

Which were mysteriously in the med bay. He'd have to ask who brought them there and thank them. 

 

Knockout stiffly nodded and bolted. 

 

He should probably talk to him again later about how the Autobots ran their faction. He was not going to be punished just because he overstepped a boundary. 

 

Optimus sighed. He really wasn't lying about those datapads.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for gratuitous Undertale references.

Optimus was, of course, determined to get back to his duties as soon as possible. 

 

Which involved what they called ‘Earth Duty’.

 

Usually only two Autobots were assigned to watch over the Earth at a time, but with Optimus’ injuries they all agreed three should come that time.

 

Unfortunately all the other Autobots were busy, and Soundwave volunteered.

 

(Optimus saw Megatron talking to him before he did which made him instantly suspicious.)

 

(That and the knowledge Megatron was avoiding him again.)

 

Still. The madness that were their lives did not end there. 

 

The humans obviously missed their Cybertronian friends and wanted to ‘hang out’.

 

Except human videogames did not seem incredibly appealing to Optimus, Arcee, nor Soundwave.

 

Although Optimus did look fondly at the group as they went back and forth about which ones they should play. 

 

Arcee did seem too impressed with the description of  _ Slender: The Eight Pages _ .

 

“If I  _ wanted  _ to be scared by some faceless creature that doesn't talk I'd go stare at Soundwave.” She said to Jack putting a hand to her hip and not noticing the subject of her comment was within hearing range or noticing him walking up to stand right behind her. 

 

(When she did end up turning around she let out a curse and jumped a little.)

 

They eventually ‘settled’, they decided on a majority wins situation, on  _ Undertale _ .

 

Miko instantly was disinterested when it opened with backstory and since her vote lost. 

 

Arcee was interested in a while, but after dozens of practically the same few ‘battles’ she left for patrol. 

 

Soundwave was working of course, although he did leave for patrol too since the two humans started loudly debating whether to trust Toriel or not, and Optimus was working too, but he was also listening to the humans. 

 

Eventually Jack suddenly remembered a homework assignment he was forgetting and had to go home. 

 

It was just him and Rafael. 

 

“Bumblebee told me you've been acting strange for a while.” the young human said after a long time and, since he just finished the battle he was in moments ago with Toriel, suddenly.

 

Has everyone noticed? 

 

“Megatron and I are having some...issues we are addressing.” He neutrally said. 

 

Rafael opened his mouth, but quickly closed it with a guilty expression on his face. 

 

“It's...kind of funny that we decided to play this game.” he said next. 

 

“Why is that?” Optimus asked as turned around to face Rafael.

 

“This game is big on choices and the consequences of those choices. Mercy or fight. Don't tell Jack but I saw my sister playing this game a while ago.” Rafael paused. “Megatron chose fight. And that choice has consequences. But he changed his mind.”

 

“I've done terrible things too Rafael. I chose to fight also.” 

 

He only chose to fight after Megatron did, but there was a human saying that ‘two wrongs don't make a right’. Yet he decided he had to fight to protect others. He has done terrible things too with the idea of protecting others. He was willing to use the Spark Extractor to end the war. To kill a defenseless being (at the time) even though  _ just that day  _ he said it was against his moral code. 

 

Yet it still wasn't enough. Cybertron fell to ruin. Ratchet said...Optimus chided himself. He didn't hold anything Ratchet said while on the unfinished synthetic energon against him. 

 

He could help but think of those words sometimes. 

 

“I don't think anyone is strictly “good” or “bad”. This game has morally gray characters and so do people. And Cybertronians.”

 

Optimus would always be thankful that he is alive right now, but sometimes it was so difficult to be here. 

 

(Especially since he was ready.)

 

This was yet another aspect he was unprepared to handle since the end of their war. 

 

Morality is what separated them from the Decepticons. And if one broke apart from their moral code what makes them better?

 

Megatronus fought for the greater good of Cybertron. Look where that cause ended up. 

 

It was good to be reminded that those around him were still holding him accountable. They still see what he has done and still believe he's someone worth following. 

 

“Thank you for your words Rafael.” Optimus said giving a soft smile. “Although I must admit the issue I have with Megatron is a personal one.” 

 

The line of where his moral issues started and personal issue ended in regard of Megatron was a confusing one. 

 

“Personal like what? You were friends before right?”

 

Optimus’ face went neutral. 

 

“It has been revealed calling Megatron my brother in the past was both more accurate and further from the truth than I could have ever guessed.” he hoped that he understood those implications.

 

Rafael seemed to.   

 

“Do...you know how you guys are…? Is this like a Star Wars thing?”

 

Optimus just stared.

 

“It's a movie series. The reason I mention it is because one if the protagonists finds out the antagonist is his dad.”

 

“That’s...accurate.” Optimus stiffly answered. It was the most upfront and transparent way he's told anyone about his and Megatron’s connection. Then again he's only told Ratchet and he didn't have a comparison to hide behind at the time.

 

Rafael looked really surprised. He was quiet for several moments.

 

“What are you going to do now?” he finally asked. “Do you want to have a relationship with him?”

 

That wasn't something Optimus has really thought about. What he was doing was helping rebuild Cybertron. Keeping everybody from killing each other. Pondering his mixed feelings about who he was anymore. Pondering about Megatron, their connection, and the whys.

 

Did he want to have a more familial relationship with Megatron? As a child he remembered a name. He remembered someone who loved and took care of him. He remembered someone who wasn't his ‘parents’. He wished countless times to meet this person, but now he knew the truth. The cost of meeting this someone was eons of war and destruction and betrayals so wide one could fit  _ universes _ into them.

 

It was almost easier back when Megatron just hated him and he was convinced he was never going to have his friend back against his almost nonexistent and irrational hopes. 

 

“I do not know Rafael.” he finally replied and that was the crux of his problem. He didn't know what to do or even what he wanted, and while he is stuck in this indecision the knowledge is seemingly getting worse to deal with. 

 

A part of him did want to give Megatron a chance. Another was screaming and raging against it. 

 

Perhaps...

 

Perhaps he needed to have another discussion with Megatron.


	16. Chapter 16

As Optimus and Megatron stood at one of the many empty expanses of Cybertron, Optimus couldn't help help but think this sounded easier in his head.

 

Not easy, but still... _ easier _ .

 

Megatron’s apprehension on the matter did not help ease his dread.

 

“I am glad that you agreed to meet with me.” Optimus stiffly said. Megatron wanted to gag  at his over formal words and authoritative ‘Prime’ voice.

 

He just grunted instead. 

 

“I must apologize for my recent behavior-”

 

“Cut the scrap Optimus. We both know we're not here for you to give useless platitudes.”

 

Optimus snapped his mouth shut and wait a long moment before speaking. 

 

“It seems I was wrong to suggest that we wait to discuss our issues with each other.” He calmly stated. “Or wrong to not discuss what we want our end goals to be.”

 

“Are you seeking to rectify that now?”

 

A sharp, hot stab of annoyance on Optimus’ part. Why can't Megatron stop patronizing him for once?

 

“If you so wish it  _ Megatron _ .” 

 

They both lapsed into silence.

 

Optimus took a moment longer to organize his thoughts. “What do you want your end goal to be?”

 

“In relation to you? That is unclear. I always found myself eager at the idea of ever reuniting with Delta, but gave up hope long ago. The discovery  _ you _ were...it was shattering. After Unicron I do not want to be an oppressor anymore. Isn't that the whole reason I became enraged at my brother?” a long pause. “I can see myself wanting to be your friend again eventually. Or more.” he finished. 

 

Optimus could hardly bring himself to speak. The fear of this connection between them was too strong. Yet the relationship not strong enough to make any difference in anything. “I don't know what I want our relationship to be. When I was a child I wanted to meet the person I was  _ sure _ was my real parent. I miss my brother, but I gave up ever reaching you millennia ago. A small part of me always hoped...but I knew your hatred for me knew no bounds. Enough to cut of your arm, the one with your cannon, the symbol of your struggles in the gladiator pits. Enough that your dream hardly included Cybertron but to kill me over and over. Enough to  _ destroy _ anything or anyone I cared about. It...frightened me the lengths you went to or was willing to go just to destroy me. It still does. You were so quick to despise me.” Optimus stopped for a moment to reorganize his thoughts. “I want our people to be safe and happy. I want a Cybertron where every single citizen has a bright, wonderful future awaiting them. I...I want to feel like  _ myself _ again.”

 

Megatron stood stiffly and his face betrayed nothing. “‘Feel like myself’?” he repeated putting his hands behind his back and awaiting an answer.

 

“I am no longer truly Optimus Prime, yet I am not Orion either.”

 

Megatron looked surprised. “Weren't you always the one going on about how your title doesn't matter?”

 

He was missing the point. It wasn't the power Optimus missed. It wasn't the prestige or title he missed. It was the feeling of himself, and the control the Matrix provided. 

 

“Logically being stripped of my title means I revert back to my pre-Prime state. Yet I am too...experienced to be Orion.”

 

‘Experienced’? Wouldn't the more proper term be world-weary. Weathered perhaps?

 

He was completely, unconditionally ready to Become One at the end of that battle with Unicron. He did everything he needed to and more.

 

Megatron seemed to pause for a long moment as if making a decision and he resolutely looked into his eyes.

 

“You're thinking of Optimus and Orion being too different of creatures. Optimus  _ is _ Orion and Orion  _ is _ Optimus. I think of it like this: Orion is Delta given knowledge and Optimus is Orion given power. All interconnected and each other.” 

 

Optimus was stunned for a moment. How could he ever forget Megatron (Megatronus) that could have great advice and solid wisdom?

 

(Because he acts like an idiot sometimes)

 

Despite that Optimus appreciated his words.

 

“Thank you.” 

 

It of course didn't make his crisis go away, but the words were reassuring in an odd way. 

 

Megatron looked pleased, but it only lasted for a second before they ended up standing there awkwardly.

 

“You went on earlier about my hatred for you. Do you hate me also?” Megatron asked still not moving away. 

 

“I hated the way you were acting. I hated the slow destruction of our planet. I hated what the war was doing to me and those I cared about or will someday care about. I hated the war. I hated your lack of morals and I hated your hatred of me. I hated what I had to do to fight you, to protect others. Despite all that, I never hated  _ you _ .” Optimus stated. ‘If anything I hated myself’ he mentally added but nevermind that. 

 

“You are not blameless.” Megatron said his face somber.

 

“I spoke over you.” Optimus remembered. “And I betrayed some of my own morals.”

 

“I thought you would follow me no matter what.” 

 

Optimus seemed to stiffen. “I believe irrevocable loyalty is absolute power. As the human saying goes: absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Optimus almost whispered. 

 

Megatron didn’t verbally respond to those words, but Optimus knew Megatron well enough to understand his subtle acknowledgement. 

 

“What are we to do now?” Megatron asked.

 

Both stood in awkward silence. 

 

“We try to understand and do better. Maybe friendship will come. Or more. Or neither. We  _ try _ .”

 

Megatron looked displeased. “Trying to figure out soft, weak  _ emotions. _ I'd rather face Unicron again.” he joked.  _ Joked _ ! Did wonders ever cease?

 

The word ‘understand’ was ringing in Optimus’ ears.

 

“Why were you so quick to hate me?” he ended up blurting out. ‘Why do you hate me?’ was both simple and complicated. It's reasons could be listed and listened to, but also hard to understand. Why Megatron was so quick to despise him was just as telling. Or perhaps even the same question. 

 

Megatron seemed frozen by his question. “I cannot truly answer that.” he said after a moment. “Perhaps you reminded me of them. Or felt guilty I called you brother called you family while my own child was lost. Or you did seemingly betray my cause and spoke over me. Perhaps all these reasons at once. Or something else I have not realized yet. I do not know Optimus.”

 

It was a better answer than he expected he supposed. He appreciated Megatron’s honesty. 

 

Still it is a question about the past and both of them need to be a better with letting go of it. Optimus felt more ready to do that than before and Megatron was...trying...in his own way he supposed.

 

“Will we try? Try to forgive? Can I truly at least have my friend back?” Optimus almost whispered. It still seemed far too good to be true. 

 

“Yes I believe we can do that.”

 

“Before-” Optimus paused for a long moment “Before we do that let’s continue to talk. We still have so much more to discuss before we can be friends again.”

 

Megatron nodded and opened his mouth to ask Optimus a question this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Optronixes has some really, really interesting meta about Megatron and Optimus. 
> 
> http://optronixes.tumblr.com/post/108607097338/so-the-other-thing-i-try-not-to-think-about-a-lot  
> http://optronixes.tumblr.com/post/107929510033/optronixes-megatron-kills-optimus-over-and-over  
> http://optronixes.tumblr.com/post/108120107548/optronixes-how-obsessed-must-megatron-be-with  
> http://optronixes.tumblr.com/post/35948990444/when-megatron-stands-in-front-of-the-omega-lock-on


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well I'm making this my last chapter. Thank you all who has enjoyed, reviewed, and gave this story kudos! You guys are the best! Additionally I am making an one-shot series for this story dealing with extensions and AUs I thought of while writing this. Thank you again for sticking with this story!

_ Anyone who was around Delta for more than 5 seconds knew they were an incredibly curious child.  _

 

_ Megatronus was more than happy to tell anyone, listening or not, about Delta and and their endless curiosity and accomplishments  although that still didn’t mean their insatiable curiosity didn’t cause him issues.  _

 

_ Usually it took the form of him being short tempered after a long day. Which he always feels awful about it since he doesn’t get to see Delta everyday, but sometimes his frustration just gets the better of him. _

 

_ Delta always seemed a bit quieter those days after hearing their father’s clipped, short answers. _

 

_ And sometimes he just  _ can’t _ answer their questions. Whether because he doesn’t have enough schooling to answer, or they were questions nobody could answer. Just like now. _

 

_ He was visiting Delta’s safehouse a few days after a minor work related injury and after Delta calmed down after his excitement of seeing him he stared at and gave Megatronus’ injured leg a clumsy pat. _

 

_ “Why?” _

 

_ Megatronus paused and tried to think of the best way to answer. “It was just a little accident at work. There’s nothing to be worried about.” _

 

_ Of course that didn’t satisfy Delta. “Why?” they asked again looking up at him. _

 

_ “Because I’m tougher tha-” _

 

_ “No!  _ Why? _ ” _

 

_ “Sometimes the bosses don’t check if its safe all the time.” ‘If ever’ he mentally added. He didn’t want to scare Delta right now. Not when they’re barely more than an infant and should get a little while longer of blissful ignorance. _

 

_ They’ll find out all of it soon enough.  _

 

_ “Why?”  _

 

_ And this was quickly going into dangerous territory.  _

 

_ “They don't find the safety of their…” slaves “employees a priority.” _

 

_ “Why?” _

 

_ Wasn't that a loaded question.  _

 

_ “Cybertronians...view some lives as being worth more than others. To some our lives aren't...important.”  _

 

_ Delta looked frightened now. Whether he really understood what he was saying or not didn’t matter, they at least understood that what he was talking about was bad and scary. “ _ Why? _ ” they asked again this time clamoring onto his lap. _

 

_ “I don't know Delta. I do not know.” he softly said leaning back so Delta could comfortably settle on his chest. He gently rubbed their back as they curled up and clung to their father’s armor. _

 

_ They didn’t ask anymore questions after that.  _

 

_ It seemed so simple for them to ask those sorts of questions and yet so hard for a council member or even a Prime. _

 

_ When had people become so afraid of ‘why’ even when it comes to basic Cybertronian decency and rights?  _

 

_ Why is it that his child has no future beyond a miner and maybe a gladiator?  _

 

_ It isn’t fair! _

 

_ ‘Life isn’t fair.’ he could hear countless voices say. Parents, miners, those high-caste fraggers, anyone really. _

 

_ Why did they have to accept that excuse? Why did  _ he  _ have to accept that excuse? Why couldn’t they fight to make life a little bit more fair? _

 

_ Why did they have to accept that they can’t be equal, that they can’t be free? _

 

* * *

  
  


_ Orion Pax had few memories of when he was very young.  _

 

_ Yet he can remember it being very difficult time in his life.  _

 

_ He remembered a person who he could barely make out and their deep voice soothing him as he was held in their arms, he remembered being adamant about the name Delta, he remembered his parents’ disappointed faces as he screamed and sobbed about...something. He remembered being clumsy, even more than he is now, and he remembered being different. _

 

_ Of course he grew out of the worst of his oddities and even managed to make friends, but there always seemed to be a sense of unknowing. _

 

_ Orion Pax was missing something and possibly something obvious.  _

 

_ This feeling itched within him and never ceased. _

 

_ At first, when he heard and  _ listened _ to Megatronus’ words, he thought it might have been the longing for freedom. A itch for being able to be whoever he wanted no matter the unknown effects destroying the caste system would bring. _

 

_ After the disastrous meeting with the High Council and when Cybertron broke out in civil war he thought perhaps it was the wish for peace. Peace for his war-torn planet his home, peace for his friends and warriors and even enemies, and peace for himself.  _

 

_ Or at least that wish transformed into a wish for peace. _

 

_ Orion Pax was no more after that last day where Megatronus was his friend, and that identity was even more shattered after Primus gave him the Matrix of Leadership. _

 

_ At the end of all the war and its effects, when Autobots and the denounced Decepticons stood at the Well of All Sparks, he was ready to be at peace. _

 

_ He was ready to die. He’s done everything he needed to and he was tired. There was not a better ending for that story.  _

 

Yet it was not the end of his story.

 

It was the transformation of his story, and it all began with Primus’ all-knowing words and a data pad. 

 

And his story was transforming again. Him and Megatron were changing for this new chapter of Cybertron’s history and for this bright, new shining Cybertron.

 

Orion Pax was not as dead as he thought he was. Neither was Optimus Prime or even Delta for that matter.  

 

Everyone including former Autobots, former Decepticons, neutrals, him, Megatron they could all be better than they were before. And they all could be free.

 

Optimus was glad to be here to see it.  

 

This part of his story ends with Megatron and Optimus under the stars. 

 

They did not speak of what had happened, and they talked about the constellations.

 

“They've moved.” Optimus whispered looking up. A testament about how long it's been since he's seen his planet’s night sky. A testament about how long it's been since Cybertron was at peace and was  _ home _ .

 

Everything may not have been okay in that moment, but Optimus felt like it could. 

 

Everything was going to be okay. 

 

That was a feeling he was glad to have again after all these years.


End file.
